Kindergarten

I'm thinking of the first, first day of school we spent together.  You were five months old and as the NYC public school students headed back to school and I wasn't a teacher to any of them, I was pleased as punch that we were together and I wasn't headed back to school.  And on that day, I thought of this day. The day you would start kindergarten.  It seemed a long way off back then but now here we are.

You're nervous and have been for a while.  It would creep into your head throughout our summer and you'd wonder aloud about how long a day would be and then we'd continue with our summer adventures.  As it got closer to this day, you increasingly became a bit more concerned about really, how long would it be and that neither I, nor Papa, would be there to experience it with you.  "I'd be all right with it if you were there the whole day," you told me several times last night.  But the thing is Abigail, this is for you to experience, this new world, on your own, and then you get to tell me all about it.  You get to learn a new language, meet new teachers, new friends, new words will appear before you as you magically learn to read and, of course, you'll be wearing your new silver shoes.  The shoes that represented kindergarten to you throughout this summer: big girl shoes with no strap!  So, in your new shoes,  in your uniform, in your four braids hairdo, you walked to school, crying and worrying.  And that's okay.  It's how you deal with it.  You will come out of this triumphant, at your own pace.  And I'm so very proud of you.  I mean, hey, you didn't follow me out the door when I walked out.  That was no small feat. And though I may not physically be there to experience a day of kindergarten with you, all my hopes, all my dreams for you are there for you, rooting you on: "You're ready for this!  You can do it!"

Birthday wishes

Abigail, 

Papa called me at 8:11 this morning.
"It's not quite time yet, we still have a few more minutes," I said as I picked up my phone.
Five years and 4 minutes later you'd be exactly five years old. 

Five years of you.  I can't believe how quickly those years flew by.  Actually I can.  While the years did fly by, the moments with you run long and deep.  You're so passionate about life, about dancing, particularly your beloved ballet, and just plain spirited about MOVING!  Shaking up the world a bit.  You're an amazing kid, my Abigail. 

Always feel how "cleverful" you are--a vibrant word that you created.  Because you are indeed cleverful in all the ways you express who you are.  So, birthday girl, shine on, flutter and float about, and always know we simply adore you.

A beginning

Abigail, I'm about to pick you up from your first day of Pre-K.  Like on any typical walk we've had this summer, you wanted to see how old cars were parked on the street.  So I checked the little registration sticker and we saw cars from 1988, "wow 26 years old is old!" and some that were from 2012, "That's a youngin'."  But this was no typical walk.  This was a big, leaping, laborious walk to the unknown.  You were scared to meet new people and had convinced yourself "school was no fun."  You did not want your picture taken.  And no matter how hard I tried to put a positive spin on things, you had a quick response of how horrible it all would be.  You cried when I walked out the door (and three paces out the door, I cried too) but you had bravely waved "good-bye" and went with your smiling teacher to explore some part of your new classroom.  Because you are one amazing explorer.  And adventurer.  And experimenter.  And you love life, even when it's new, scary territory.

So at pick-up it was no big surprise, but still much relief, when you walked out the door on your own to say, "I was having so much fun I didn't want to leave!"  That's my girl.  (We'll see if you remember saying that tomorrow morning.)

There was a moment before I left when you were worried you would never see me again and you promised to draw a picture of me.  You handed it to me at the end of the day with a smile:

It's fantastic!

I love to watch you play

I was reading a survey somewhere on the interweb about what parents of professional athletes said to their children to encourage them in their pursuits.  The survey overwhelmingly found the phrase, "I love to watch you play," repeated again and again.  Such simple words and yet when I first read them a chill ran down my spine.  I was overwhelmed at how deeply moving they were.   It was saying "I believe in you in, in that thing you feel so passionate about.  I love you and I'm so very proud of you."  Who wouldn't feel emboldened by those words?

She's got her own style

So, Abigail,

                  ...I love to watch you in gymnastics.

                  ...I love to watch you throw your head back and laugh.

                  ...I love to watch you eat chocolate ice cream.

                  ...I love to watch you climb.

                  ...I love to see you hug the Fink.

                  ...I love to hear you say, "watch this move," and you show us  a new dance move.

                  ...I love to watch you hula hoop.

                  ...I love to watch you watch handball players and wonder when you'll be able to do it.

                  ...I love to watch you flip.

                  ...I love to hear you sing the "I Don't Remember" song you created.

                  ...I love to watch you read in bed.

And today when you had your first playdate with a girl from your class, I loved to watch you say "that's me," when she held a baby picture of you.  You were proud of youself as you showed off your room with all the drawings, photos, colors, books and toys that help make up who you are.

I love to watch you be you.

Self portrait!

Abigail started school this past week and we already see her confidence growing. She's speaking up for herself at the playground, she's talking about fire drills and she's drawing her self portrait!

It's been hot, hot, hot! And she's hot stuff.

School!

Well, we all made it through today.  Abigail's first day of school.  She was glorious. 

Big Changes

My goodness there's a lot that's been going!  Between the move--we're now The Towers Ettingers--and Abigail's birthday, there's so much that's been going on.

We moved just over a month ago to our wonderful new apartment in Jackson Heights.  Here's Abigail enjoying the swings in our backyard:

We're loving the glorious light and space of our new home.  We're loving our neighbors.  We love to see Daphne run down our long hallway and Fink lay in the sun.  And Abigail, well Abigail just loves her new room.  Rooms we should say--a bedroom, a bathroom (yeah two bathrooms for all of us!), and a playroom with chairs and a table she picked out herself.

On the day Abigail turned three she exclaimed, "I am delighted with my birthday."  She is such a big girl now.  From sleeping soundly in her big girl bed, to saying (just today) "I have to go to the bathroom," two whole times!, to whizzing around on her bright yellow scooter, to coming up with hilarious songs about Fink, she is blossoming each day into quite a li'l lady.